Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Esme Kenney, 1996 - 2009



The following is the eulogy for my sister Esme who was taken from us Saturday, March 7th, 2009.


13 years ago we had the amazing experience of welcoming into the world a new baby girl. I remember the first I held her in my arms, I wondered about this new little being in the world--who she was, and who she would become.

Who was Esme Kenney?

When Esme was 3 years old, she already knew the make and model of the cars of every single member of her family and friends. When I would drive over to see her, as I got my welcome hug, she was usually looking over my shoulder to check and see what kind of car I was driving.

This interest extended into boats, when our family would take our annual summer trips to Canada. Her ability to identify boats was so good, that at the age of 6, after hearing a tinny rumble off in the distance over the lake, she would announce with supreme confidence “Here comes Bob in the 25.” And she was always spot on. And then she would run down to the dock, a welcoming committee you could always count on.

Her biggest dream in Canada was to drive the boat like the big kids. When she finally was granted her boating license, it became difficult to pry the steering arm out of her hands, but if we insisted, she would relent cheerfully – she was a generous soul. And if your boating skills were rudimentary, she would be happy to teach you.

She loved learning and exploring, and her school and friends were immensely important to her. In addition to becoming an expert in the fine art of making scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes, she shared with us important lessons that she had been taught in school. Once she was asked what she had learned in Kindergarten that year, and she replied, very solemnly, “I learned not to bite and scratch.”

She loved the water, going snorkeling, and had even for the first time last summer successfully gotten up on water skis. She was scared of Daddy Longlegs, but very little else. Animals were her friends, from the baby chicks she raised to her beloved dogs.

Esme was a born artist. Those of you who know her parents wouldn’t be surprised to know that she was blessed with a lifetime’s worth of creativity.

She was a cellist, a guitarist, and a singer. She loved Bach, the Beach Boys, and High School Musical. She grew up surrounded by music and books. We were always reading to her, even as a little baby. Often after the story was over, she could be found outside walking in circles retelling the stories to herself in a million different imaginative ways. Sometimes we were pulled into the story, and played the ugly stepsister to her Cinderella or scullery boy in her royal castle in the sky. As she started to choose her own books to read, her favorites ranged from the Little House Books, to The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Twilight.

It’s apparent, from the number of people here, and the messages from all who came in contact with her. that Esme was a tremendously gifted people person. The bond she forged with the people in her life was truly amazing. I always knew that I had a very special bond with Esme, because we had such a great friendship, and loved to talk to each other and hang out. However I have a feeling that most of us thought that, that we all knew that we were important to her and that she liked being with us. And that was truly a gift, this gift of making us feel special and loved, and it came from the deepest, richest, most essential part of her soul. She loved people. Meeting them, talking to them, learning about them, and sharing with them about herself and her interests. I loved to check in with her with a chat or a phone call, and hear about everything she was up to, what she just did together with friends or family, and how much fun it had been. And it was always fun! She brought a spark to the air around her and if you were hanging out with Esme you were having fun and you were just happy to be around her and share that gift.

That spirit was so infectious - Esme got so fired up, so enthusiastic, about everything she did in life. Esme taught us not to take life for granted. Even the very simplest things were cause for pleasure, such as riding the subway in Boston or programming her father’s mobile phone. She just loved to do stuff, get involved, go visiting, get people going on some activity like a singalong or a board game. Her enthusiasm carried over to the people around her, we could all benefit from trying to live life with more of Esme’s spark.

Esme’s life was full of love, friendships, family and freedom. She was playful, imaginative, and deeply engaged with the people she was surrounded by. She was a family girl, and her family was most important to her.

But Esme taught us that everyone is many things to many people. She was a daughter and granddaughter, a sister, a neice, a cousin, and an aunt, but she was also a friend, a student, a young woman. As her family, we’ve always known how special Esme was from the day she was born, but even so it has been wonderful, and so healing, to hear so many stories from her friends from school about how giving, funny, spirited and kind she was. From how she met Sam and became good friends after he spilled milk on her, how she was always willing to sit with and befriend the lonely kid sitting by himself, how she stuck up for kids being bullied in the hallways, how she made friends all over the school, boys, girls, older kids, younger kids, even teachers. She was better friends with many adults than many adults are with each other.

I know that everybody who knew Esme, even for just a few minutes, could think of 10, 100 or even a 1,000 other things that she was, but the thing we miss the most now that Esme is not here, is not who she was but the ongoing person who Esme was becoming, every year, every day, every second. We were all so excited to see Esme grow and explore herself and the world around her, to see the new amazing woman this girl who we all knew and loved would become. She would have knocked us out.

And this is why her loss is so devastating – it’s not just a loss of what was, but a loss of what could become. A loss of incredible potential. This has left an enormous hole in our hearts. We want her back so badly. We want her back, to see her again, to watch her grow, to grow with her, to see the unique paths this unique person would take.

Faced with such a senseless crime and losing someone you loved so much, it is easy to feel that your world has lost its meaning and to focus on the anger and despair. However, it is important to remember that the sum of a person’s life cannot be measured from their final moments. There are none of us who would trade the 13 years that we had with Esme, that Esme had with herself and the world around her, just so that we could avoid feeling the way we do now. They were great years, and Esme’s joyful spirit was freely given to everyone she met, such that we all became better people for knowing her. Though it was short, we are endlessly grateful for the time and love we shared with Esme.

The outpouring of grief, love, friendship, support, of memories and well-wishes in these days has been phenomenal and inspiring. We all know how special she was to her friends and family but we have nonetheless been heartened by how many friends she had, how special she was to them, how shocked and grieved they are and the extent that they have now come forward to offer their condolences, their grief and their support in this extremely difficult time. It seems that everybody who knew her was touched by her gift and now is deeply saddened by her passing. And though it is very difficult, our memories and the spirit of Esme that we all share have inspired us to a celebration of her life and spirit, with musical tributes, art, poetry, thoughts and remembrances. This is what life is, what love is, and never let anybody ever tell you that there is no real goodness in the world: we have Esme’s life and the love of the people around her as proof of that. Hold that, keep it, treasure it, remember it, think on it every day of your life and bring that spirit to everything you do and the world becomes a better and better place in return.

77 comments:

Eric said...

Brian - thanks for writing a beautiful eulogy. I think you really captured Esme's impact and essence.

ET

contrlfreq said...

thank you for sharing this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

"Who sings of all of Love's eternity
Who shines so bright
In all the songs of Love's unending spells?
Holy lightning strikes all that's evil
Teaching us to love for goodness sake.
Hear the music of Love Eternal
Teaching us to reach for goodness sake. "

*Kristyn*Maia*Mekai* said...

What a perfectly written tribute to Esme. Although I am so sorry that it needed to be done, you guys did a fantastic job.

Anonymous said...

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your daughter. As a mom...this completely breaks my heart. I can not imagine what you must be feeling. Thank you for sharing this beautiful of Esme's life with us.

Ericka C

Anonymous said...

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your daughter. As a mom...this completely breaks my heart. I can not imagine what you must be feeling. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of Esme's life with us.

Ericka C

Lauryn said...

Thank you for your beautiful and kind words. Although I only knew Esme when she was a bright 2 year old running around St. Theresa Textile Trove, I thought she was fabulous, amazing and a wonderful spirit. My heart is with your family through all of this.
Lauryn Mangat

Willow said...

That is a wonderful way to describe Esme. Very amazing!

krsnet said...

May God be with you.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful tribute to Esme. I had the pleasure of meeting her in Sioux Narrows(at The Sports Shop)where I worked, when she was a bit younger.
It always made me so happy to chat with her! She always said hi to me over the past years whenever I saw her. What a beautiful spirit.
Our sincerest condolences.
Mary and Alan Morris

Anonymous said...

Brian...that was beautiful.


Ed

Anonymous said...

Dear God, Brian, I'm so sad. I can't tell you how hard this hits. It hits many people beyond your family. No words can express the sorrow. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and Esme every day. Please know that many people beyond your circle are in mourning with the Kenneys. Our hearts are broken yet also touched by Esme's life. May she have unspeakable peace, long beyond this short life. And may you find peace as well.

Anonymous said...

Dear Brian,

That is a beautiful eulogy with encouraging words. The slide show of Esme is amazing. What a wonderful soul. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Laura

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss. My sympathies to you and your family.

CT - Blacksburg, Virginia

dldeprez said...

I’m supposed to be prepping for classes at the Chicago Academy for the Arts in Chicago, but these past two days I have been holding a private, tear-filled vigil in memory of your sister. Many of the students I teach at the Academy are as bright, cheerful, talented, engaging, and full of life and hope as Esme obviously was. You wrote in your blog on 9-7-08, “By this time in my life (let’s generously call it approaching early middle-age), I sort of understand that big, unexpected things could happen to anybody, anywhere; health things, accidents, world events, what have you.” I am so sorry how prescient these words turn out to be. I know you are impressed with the Irish fiddle music of Liz Carroll. A perfect track to accompany your beautiful eulogy to your sister is the third one on Lake Effect, called The Ghost, The Hatchling, and The Long Bow. It makes me cry as I listen to it and scroll through the album of pictures depicting your family. No family should have to experience such tragedy. The inscrutable allowances of God aside, Esme is an instrument of peace that comes from God. Her life will touch many. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon a link on a Yahoo group that was simply marked, "The pictures of Esme." I didn't know what it was or who she was. I looked through each picture just amazed at her energy. Wondering what this beautiful child had done to touch so many. It wasn't until I researched futher that I found out about why I was looking at these pictures. Though I don't know you or your family, I have ahd a broked heart for you all month. All of you are in my prayers and thoughts. I have written a letter to the Mayor of Cincinnati asking that current laws be looked over with the cresh thoughts of this man's actions in mind.
I wish only peace and loving memories for you and your family. Know that even in heaven, Esme is touching people with her positive spirit.
Jamie McNeeley
Akron Ohio

Brian C. Kenney said...

Thank you, all, for your kind thoughts and actions.
-Brian

Zora Ravenwood said...

A beautiful Eulogy for such a beautiful person...

First of all, I would like to say that words cannot possibly describe how much sorrow I feel for you and all who knew Esme.

I hadn't heard about this unspeakable tragedy until today when I met Esme's Aunt at the grocery store and got into a long conversation. She told me how much she loved art/music and how kind and compassionate she was to everyone around her, how she was never bitter, and just such an incredible joy to be around. Anyone is lucky beyond imagination to have known or even met this precious child. I would like all of Esme's family/friends to know that my heart goes out to you...Esme's story has made a strong impact on me...so strong in fact, that I came to a decision today...I don't plan on having children for a few more years, but when I do, I have decided I will name my firstborn daughter Esme in her memory.

Thank you for bringing light into the world, Esme!

Donna T. said...

Your honesty and sincerity will put you in front of the right people outside of your family- to get the healing inside your heart that you need. Just keep doing what you are doing and I promise you will be guided to the right place to get some relief.
By the way I am in Houston, Texas and we have Egrets all over our front yard for three months in a year. They love the Water Oaks.
I have a daughter born October 1996, and she reminds me so much of Esme.. every one who knows her says she has an old soul. After reading about Esme, it inspired me to be a better mother. Thank you for your honesty.
Kindest regards,
Donna T.

mamacar said...

Esme is in our prayers. We didn't know her but her story has really touched us. What a wonderful tribute to your sister.

Beth said...

Dear Brian,
Continue to find joy in life...as Tom and Lisa said, "The dark must not win!!!" and Esme would have expected you to enjoy life.
Love 'ya! Beth

Sara said...

Hey Brian
Thankyou for sharing your feelings and deep love here.

We've not met, but I feel somehow close to you and your family, since Meghan and TOdd have been living in our community here at Wat Kow Tahm...
Just read this beautiful piece again... now several times...
plus seeing the very moving and beautiful recording of the memorial service Megfhan shared with us on the 'work retreat'...

What a wondeful ceremony, full of love and deep care and respect...

Hope the time passing is helping to soften the tragic impact of loss and seperation...?

Sending loving, compassionate thoughts... from a very quiet monastery (retreat time here...

rom Sara
(I thought I posted here months ago... but cant see my entry!!!)

Beth Kenney said...

I am so sorry about Esme'. We had short contact with her, as our daughter shares the same first and last name. We are praying for your family and so sorry for the loss of a beautiful, obviously talented and loving girl. Our deepest sympathy.

From the parents of another beautiful Esme' Kenney.

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therapyyoga said...

I never knew of Esme...until she died. This eulogy truly brought Esme to life again...so real...so much spirit...and so much love! Having lost a loved one, I have a sense of how much your heart aches to have her back. And the recent trial surely drudges up the senselessness of her death. She should be here...and she's not...not in the physical sense, but for everyone knew and loved her, for her family who grieves so much for her, thank you for bringing her life and love to everyone who didn't know her. May peace find you and Esme's love wrap her loving arms around you! Thank you, her brother, for letting us know a little bit of who your sister is. Namaste'

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Anonymous said...

that was beautiful. i was friends with esme at scpa. we were more like acquaintances but we would say hi to each other in the hallways some of my friends dont even say hi to me but esme never failed to say hello. i really wish that i had the time to become better friends with her. sometimes i just think of her and i miss her. i think of how she got along with everyone and how much of a wonderful person she was. i know a lot of people are thinking that people are making her sound nicer and more generous than she really was just because they're sad but she really was incredibly generous ive never met anyone with so much positivity she cared about others. she was thoughtful and caring. i bet if she was still here today we wouldve became really good friends. losing her has made me grateful and has helped me to get over something thats not a very big deal as im making it. or if im mad at someone i remind myself that they wont be here forever and having them taken away is so easy. she has made me want to be a better person and to be grateful and to be generous and kind. to think of others. anyways your euology(sp?) was beautiful, bless your heart<3

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